firsts and fortitude ...

i actually watched the end of the indy 500 today.

as children, my siblings and i were sent to foster homes when our parents were no longer to support us. my little brother went to a woman's house where he was briefly united with my sister before she ran away to washington. my older brother and i were sent to another woman's house. i believe her name was mrs. garhart. but i am probably spelling that wrong.

either way, while there with her, we would occasionally go and visit some of her family. and at one of those visits, i think i watched my first and only indy 500. racing cars, as fun as it sounds to do, is not my cup of tea when it comes to watching.

but i have that thing about history, and that's what today was ... in some respect. it was history because it is important for men and women to be on equal ground at all points that such equal ground is logical. and by that i mean that unless there is a true biological difference, then there should never be a practiced difference. but i think i will just stop at that, in the intrests of vagueness.

either way, racing a car, in my opinion, is something that i see men and women being pretty equally prepared for. i mean, but your foot down on the gas and turn left. it's not exactly fucking rocket science. and i certainly don't think it takes more strength to turn the wheel. i mean, these cars have power steering, right?

so i watched it today. she didn't win. she did finish ahead of all the rookies. in my mind, that was something. and if she had the gas, she could have won the race. i, though, was not expecting her to win. she just needed to perform under pressure. but i was most impressed with the interviews i saw of her after the race was over.

all of the interviewers wanted to work the woman angle. and each time they asked her a stupid woman question, she deflected it with an intelligent race-car driver response. she didn't answer the questions they wanted to ask, nor did she react. she just said what she was supposed to, and moved on.

i think what's the most special about people is when they do the thing that they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it. it is, after all, a much more difficult task than it seems. but when people are able to come through, whether it be by driving a car or just carrying yourself appropriately, it's inspiring.

i guess in that i imply one of my fundamental beliefs about life: all you can do is do it. making statements (like what i would do) is for the weak. you have to walk the walk. and more over, you have to not care if other people notice. it's about setting an example. and the example we set can't ever be conscious of the way it is perceived at the time it happens.

ahhhh ... what the fuck do i know? nevermind.