drugs that don't get you high ... not that way

i think i am really bothered by all of the steroid talk. for me, sports means something really special. i like to wonder if i could have done some of the things that others have done.

could i have ko'd mike tyson? could i have beat michael jordan with a shot at the buzzer? could i have been the extra hand that bonds needed to win the world series? or maybe just one of the best pitchers of all time?

steroids takes away from that fantasy. it's a problem that rips at my very beliefs. i don't even get it. i want the whole thing to be untrue. i want it to be like, steroids don't help anyone at all. sort of like the corked bat, you know. superstition. i wish.

what marrion jones did way back when was pretty special. she won five gold medals. she said she was going to ... and she did. and it worked just like that. magical.

i don't know. i guess it's better to be all butt hurt over steroids than it is to be thinking about the war.